Sunday, August 29, 2010

Vegas and the ignorant doorman

I know club doormen and ignorance are kind of a given but man this was a doozy.

This weekend I had the luck to be invited to las Vegas for an upfront weekend on the part of NBC universal. Overall it has been absolutely phenomenal. Unfortunately tonight ihaf an experience that was less than great.

Look, I've been in Florida for 31 years now and frankly I feel qualified to make certain judgements about the area. To that end, I still have my old Florida license which I only have to apply a sticker to the back that prolong the expiration date. Oh sure I've had problem with it before but ultimately it gets accepted.

However, that was nit the case tonight.

My ID was rejected by the overly muscled doorman, which is his right. My problem however was his reply to seeing it.

"I lived in Florida for 7 years and never saw this type of license."

Really? I mean in the full 7 WHOLE years you were there you never saw an old license? Then mine must not be valid. I mean digitally recognized licenses have always been around right? Not like life existed before a time prior to computers taking over the daily life. No that can't possibly be true.

Again, sir you reserve the right to refuse anyone you choose but maybe you should educate yourself past a yet ago. Then again if you WERE educated at all you'd probably know better than to work for an alleged pothead who's dating an alleged coke whore....but maybe that wasn't the case 7 years ago either.

Monday, August 16, 2010


So as some of you may know, I'm up in North Carolina taking a much deserved break at my parent's cabin. As I write this I'm sitting on the bed in the loft area looking at the phenomenally breath taking view of the mountains as the sun sets creating a hazy look to them that can only be described as short of heavenly.

But that's not what this blog is about.

Today we all went whitewater rafting. Dude, it had been like 10 years since the last time I did that and lemme just say it was freaking awesome! Granted the water was so cold that I'm fairly sure I had a vagina there for about 3 hours and my toes were officially purple, but sooo much fun. We took a guided tour, mostly because when you put 5 Cuban kids from Miami in a raft the instinct is more to cross a large body of water than just take a leisurely trip down a river.

Not that it was leisurely. Ok, it wasn't like some mile a second thrill ride, but some of those drops were quite awe inspiring, at least from the perspective of not having done this in a long time. However, we had such a good time doing the Natahala river that we're seriously considering doing the Ocoee river path that's strictly category 3's and 4's....yeah we're nuts, but not certifiable since we'd be looking to use a guide again.

After working up a MASSIVE appetite we drove back to Murphy and decided to venture into the downtown area. For those of you who've never been to a small town, it's as if the 4-color pages of Riverdale sprang to life. We decided to stop into Wings & Things for late lunch/early dinner, frankly because it was either that or start gnawing on each other. The meatloaf was out of hand, but unfortunately they had no dessert and the local ice cream shop had just 6:30 no less.

Tomorrow we're looking to head into HOTLANTA! Most of us have never been so we'll probably settle on doing some touristy things....but I know while we're looking at Coke and Olympics we'll all be thinking the same thing.....exactly when can we squeeze in another trip down, and over, some river?

Saturday, August 14, 2010


Wow, I can't believe it's been sooo long since my last post! Where does the time go?

To my job mostly, at least as of late. For the 3 of you regular readers, you know that my career role model, for good or bad, is Amanda from Melrose Place. And I'd like to think shed be happy with me of late.

With the recent news about most of my team being pregnant I've been stepping up my game a bit. True it's been kinda nuts doing so but I feel like I'm in a position to really make some career headway. A fact made more concrete to me by my recent foray into not only leading but presenting for a client pitch. Frankly it's like finally being invited to the adults table and I am in no rush to go back to the kiddie one, thankyouverymuch.

So we'll see what happens, after all you can never be too cocky.....outside of porn of course. But just between you and me, I think things are gonna work out fine. And if not, I'm sure it will only serve to give ms more topics to kvetch about.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

School Courses, Now Taught by French Canadians!

As I mentioned in my previous blog, my time at the gym affords me the opportunity to watch TV that I normally wouldn't. Chief among them is the oddly large number of PSA's that are currently airing on cable. My newest PSA appreciation comes from, an organization encouraging kids to go to college. Let's watch, shall we?

Great commercial right? High quality prodution, images, not really cheesy in the way that most of these sorts of spots tend to rely on. However, I see a rather large problem with the overall message. Upon watching this commercial it really didn't make me want to go on to a higher learning insitution. In truth it gave me the biggest urge to buy some spandex and audition for Cirque de Soleil.

The goal is surely to make it seem like these oh so brave kids are overcoming these big bad classes to move forward in life. But these classes are about as intimidating as a bowl of Fiber One cereal. Ok not fair, fiber anything tends to be a bit intimidating, especially if you're not near a restroom, but I digress. Hell, if I walked into a school and found that my classes were being run by Lady Gaga's weird S&M contortionist wet dream I'm pretty sure I'd remember how to prove a theorem instead of just remembering that a theorem needs to be proven.

Or I'd just be into some degree of leather.....wait a minute......

Either way, I have to say I've become quite amused with what appears to the endless stream of PSA's I'm currently watching. Here's hoping the next one is about mimes representing the dangers of venereal diseases.

Sunday, April 11, 2010


As some of you may know, I've become quite the gym rat lately. As a result I sadly now watch WAY more E! than any human being ever should Most of that winds up being E! News and the Daily 10. However, I've noticed that during these programs instead of airing commercials for brand name labels and collagen parties, for some reason they tend to air loads and loads of Public Service Announcements or PSA's.

Surprisingly, the biggest PSA advertiser during this time is Now, maybe they feel it's just plain karmic to remind people of the need to be kind to one another in-between shots of Lindasy Lohan's crotch and Kate Gosselin's crocodile tears. Of all the PSA's however, my favorite has got to be this one:

Look, I'm just as big on helping old people as anyone who's not my friend Daisy, but this old broad is NOT looking for help. Oh, I know the spot is supposed to be about reaching out to one another and all that crap. The reality is that what we have here is some horny old blue-hair who sees an opening to pounce on some emo-prey. I can just see her thoughts now:

"Hmm, been awhile since I've had anyone to do the Charleston with. Hmm, well he looks like a ripe young piece of Clark Gable. I'll just play the part of the feeble old lady and when he's not paying attention I'll goose him! Damn you depression for making me still think that's 3rd base!"

That's right, she thinks she like the Demi Moore of the vaudeville set. I guarantee she asked this poor Hot Topic shopper to go home with her to play her vitrolla. Don't let the wrinkles fool you, old people are sexual predators! I guarantee Stone Phillips is working on a Dateline all about it as I write this.

So the moral of the story? Sure you can help old people cross the street as long as they keep both hands on the Hoveround.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Horror At The Gym

Generally speaking I have a generally high tolerance for many things. To say that something offends me is even more out of the norm. However, this week I've had to endure something that is just plain offensive to the senses.

Man bulge in lycra at the gym.

For the past few weeks I've been taking a kickboxing class at my local gym and the teacher was some vaguely Eastern Eurpoean sounding woman who I think was actually Brasilian cuz she had us samba once as a cool down. Anyway, the class was actually really good and much more enjoyable than the treadmill or elliptical. This week, however, the instructor was replaced by a man who apparently feels that the gym is just the right place to have some well placed moose knuckle showing.

Again, not really big on finding things offensive but it's mildly disturbing to have this poly-blend material covered sphere kinda bouncing up and down all the class long. Particularly when it comes toward you. I just want to throw holy water on it. Worse is the fact that the instructor is like Charlotte's gay friend on Sex & The City, if her gay friend was Hispanic instead of Italian. Man is the guy loud, I'm fairly certain that when the girl fainted in class the other day it was more about his voice causing an inner ear imbalance than dehydration.

The truly worst part about the whole thing? I really like the class, he drives the class hard and keeps the routine varied so I am definitely sweating and feeling like I get a good workout, and that's before I do weights!

So there you have it, I'll keep going to this class as long as they offer it. Just, maybe we can start a petition to at least get him to wear longer shirts. After all, just because you punch in a kickboxing class doesn't mean you need to bring your own speedbag.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Further Proof That I'm Not THAT Smart

So each Monday I make it a point to start any of my conversations, be it on the phone, through e-mail or on IM with some form of the phrase "So how was your weekend?" I mean it's always nice on a Monday to reminisce about the fun part of the week right? Not to mention it's conversational and a nice lead in to asking for something on a Monday than just being to the point.

With that said, I proceeded to ask this question to a rep who I needed some info from at one of our sister offices on Monday. Normally, not a problem right?

Oh did I forget to mention it was our office in Chile?

Yeah that's right, I asked someone who just experienced an 8.8 Richter level movement of the earth about her weekend.

Just think about that the next time you think you're making a goof. Sigh, thank goodness I'm pretty huh?

Friday, February 26, 2010

Karma Always Comes Back...So Give Out Good One

One of the most commonly held beliefs is what goes around comes around. Sadly, most people hear this & focus on the fact that if you give bad, you get bad back. Or that anyone being a bad person gets their comeuppance. However, what most people leave out is that if you put good out into the world, eventually it does come back.

Recently the top level of the parking garage at my job's office building has been having work done at night. To wit they've been posting signs about cars being towed if not moved before 6:30pm. Given that an average day at work for me means getting out fairly after 6:30pm, I admit these past 2 nights I've been lucky as I would get out and my car was still there.

Tonight was different.

Opening the stairwell door I notice the entire left side of the parking area devoid of cars. Most notable is the fact that my car is now missing. A quick ask of the work crew directs me to ask the driver of the tow truck who's just down one level. Making my way down, the truck was coming back to the 3rd level. I then asked the driver about my car and he very nicely informed me that it was now parked on level 2.

Shaking my head in disbelief as if to get the clearly wrong information out of my ears, I asked again only to get the same answer. I thanked him & made my way down to the 2nd level whereby I passed a very nice lady conversing with a gentleman. She then informed me that she noticed the guy loading the car onto the truck & proceeded to convince him about how horrible it would be to do something like this to a person working late on a Friday night.

All my life I try to do good by others, be nice to people & never wish ill on anyone (well not really anyway), just because I think it's important to always give out good energy to the universe. Well, today I like to think that energy came back to me in form of a complete stranger. More than anything it's just refreshing that in a world where we only tend to hear about horrible depravity and assorted bad news, there are still good people willing to do good things for others.

Moral of the story, the universe is a crazy thing so why not give out some positive energy? If nothing else maybe it'll feed a parallel universe somewhere.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Hi There 2010, Barely Saw You Come In There

I realize that I haven't quite finished my "best of 2009" series of posts but I didn't feel like thinking about that and yet I really wanted to start the year with a new post. Nothing ritualistic, just kind felt that I should start the year with my ramblings or at the very least my goals for the following an extent.

To start with, this week saw me returning to the gym. Having weighed myself on Monday I was surprised to only be at 215 lbs, which at my 5'10" is really not that bad. Granted, my protruding tummy would say otherwise. Funny how as we age our hairline recedes as our waistline expands, huh? Having gone to the gym twice this week with two other days spent moving furniture thanks to my sister's move, I've done a total of 4 days workout so far with Saturday and Sunday looking to have their share of my sweat as well. This year I will be looking like my cute self again darn it.

With that said, one of the biggest blocks to my going to the gym last year was my job. Putting in over 40 hours a week on the job is sometimes necessary, but I will find a better way to balance that and my health this year. Let's face it, working all hours of the day isn't good for you if your body is in no shape to take more than 5 hours of it a day, right? So this year, while I will be focusing on my career as I have in the past, it will be in a more balanced form. Hopefully this will make me feel more rested than I have been feeling in the last 2 months or so.

As for rest, one of the goals for this year is to begin that arduous task of saving toward a house. Don't get me wrong, I love the current House of El but I'm a house person and truthfully we just have too much stuff and potential for stuff to stay in a one bedroom apartment. Combine that with the fact that associations can drive anyone mad and my sister just bought a 3 bed / 2 bath for less than what we even paid for our first property a good 5 years ago and well I'm sure you can see the tempation to expand the dwelling.

There you have it, in 3 paragraphs I've set up what I most look forward to achieving in the coming year. Now that I've put it on the digital equivalent of paper, it almost makes it all the more real. Ever the optimist though, I look forward to using my blog to inform you that I've been able to move forward on each of those points. After all, I've got 364 days to do it.