Tuesday, April 13, 2010

School Courses, Now Taught by French Canadians!

As I mentioned in my previous blog, my time at the gym affords me the opportunity to watch TV that I normally wouldn't. Chief among them is the oddly large number of PSA's that are currently airing on cable. My newest PSA appreciation comes from KnowHow2Go.org, an organization encouraging kids to go to college. Let's watch, shall we?

Great commercial right? High quality prodution, images, not really cheesy in the way that most of these sorts of spots tend to rely on. However, I see a rather large problem with the overall message. Upon watching this commercial it really didn't make me want to go on to a higher learning insitution. In truth it gave me the biggest urge to buy some spandex and audition for Cirque de Soleil.

The goal is surely to make it seem like these oh so brave kids are overcoming these big bad classes to move forward in life. But these classes are about as intimidating as a bowl of Fiber One cereal. Ok not fair, fiber anything tends to be a bit intimidating, especially if you're not near a restroom, but I digress. Hell, if I walked into a school and found that my classes were being run by Lady Gaga's weird S&M contortionist wet dream I'm pretty sure I'd remember how to prove a theorem instead of just remembering that a theorem needs to be proven.

Or I'd just be into some degree of leather.....wait a minute......

Either way, I have to say I've become quite amused with what appears to the endless stream of PSA's I'm currently watching. Here's hoping the next one is about mimes representing the dangers of venereal diseases.

Sunday, April 11, 2010


As some of you may know, I've become quite the gym rat lately. As a result I sadly now watch WAY more E! than any human being ever should Most of that winds up being E! News and the Daily 10. However, I've noticed that during these programs instead of airing commercials for brand name labels and collagen parties, for some reason they tend to air loads and loads of Public Service Announcements or PSA's.

Surprisingly, the biggest PSA advertiser during this time is Values.com. Now, maybe they feel it's just plain karmic to remind people of the need to be kind to one another in-between shots of Lindasy Lohan's crotch and Kate Gosselin's crocodile tears. Of all the PSA's however, my favorite has got to be this one:

Look, I'm just as big on helping old people as anyone who's not my friend Daisy, but this old broad is NOT looking for help. Oh, I know the spot is supposed to be about reaching out to one another and all that crap. The reality is that what we have here is some horny old blue-hair who sees an opening to pounce on some emo-prey. I can just see her thoughts now:

"Hmm, been awhile since I've had anyone to do the Charleston with. Hmm, well he looks like a ripe young piece of Clark Gable. I'll just play the part of the feeble old lady and when he's not paying attention I'll goose him! Damn you depression for making me still think that's 3rd base!"

That's right, she thinks she like the Demi Moore of the vaudeville set. I guarantee she asked this poor Hot Topic shopper to go home with her to play her vitrolla. Don't let the wrinkles fool you, old people are sexual predators! I guarantee Stone Phillips is working on a Dateline all about it as I write this.

So the moral of the story? Sure you can help old people cross the street as long as they keep both hands on the Hoveround.