AMAZING POSITIVE OUTCOMES ONLY = HELLCATS + CONAN?

For those who don't watch Hellcats on the CW (and shame if you aren't, it's a total guilty pleasure), you may not be familiar with the above catchphrase by Ashley Tisdale's character Savannah. However, if you even remotely follow me on Facebook or Twitter (man, I've become a social media whore haven't I?), you've seen me post this twice this week.

The reason is that this week I've had two great opportunities presented to me. Both offer incredible new challenges and growth, but as is usually the case with these situations, I kinda wanted one more than the other. Unfortunately I didn't get the outcome I was hoping for, which was disappointing, but I'm not letting that get me down.

As I said, I already have a phenomenal opportunity waiting for me in the wings that I think is really going to let me explore certain unchartered territories (for me anyway). As cheesy as I KNOW it sounds, it's a true testament to what has in the last year become one of my absolute favorite quotes from Conan O' Brien's last appearance on the Tonight Show:

"Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."

WHY ISH WILL NEVER HAVE A 6 PACK

Let's face it, I'm not exactly svelte. Even with all the gym time I put in it's not like I'm going to be confused with a beanpole anytime soon. Don't get me wrong I've got decent shoulders and what not, but like most people my stomach is just NOT going away, meaning that I will never have a 6 pack. And I am ok with that for the following reasons:

1. Cheeseburgers are our friends


2. The Fair = Fat Fest = Personal Christmas


3. I'm fairly certain I won't have a career in porn


4. Ditto for stripping


5. Lechon, specifically pellejito..mmmmm


6. Waking up in the morning to excercise is a myth like the existence of leprechauns or models who never had bulimia


7. Hot doughnuts make deliciously edible pillows


8. I have a day job that doesn't involve folding jeans at The Gap


9. Can't prove it beyond a shadow of a doubt, but I'm certain if I lose my tummy there goes my ass and that is just NOT an option in this lifetime


10. Cheeseburgers. I know I mentioned it at the start, but it's just THAT big a factor.

Do you feel the same way or do you think I CAN have a 6 pack? And none of that cuz you have will power crap, cuz that's what people cry to themselves as they eat a pint of ice cream. Speaking of which, time for a shake! :-)

FACEBOOK: CREATING CONNECTIONS WHILE ANNOYING ME

So I'm most likely behind in posting this since it's not really revolutionary or anything, but here goes. There are just some people whose statuses on Facebook make me feel like severing their arm and beating them with it.

To me a facebook status or post should be either what you're doing or some sort of witty observation. Now perhaps I'm asking for too much, but there are just some people whose facebook statuses make me want to throttle them:

People Who Need Spell/Grammar Check To Survive: I get that we all make spelling mistakes, especially with the onset of smartphones with their tiny keyboards. However, for the love of all that's holy there are some people who just can't be bothered to spell or write a coherent sentence. If you haven't mastered the art of knowing when to make a word plural you shouldn't be allowed to write to the world.

The Uber Blessed: I'm all for wishing blessings on others, but everyday for everything? I knew I had reached my breaking point when I read somebody say they were feeling blessed because their washing machine was being delivered. Unless you're beating your clothes on a rock there's no reason to feel blessed for an appliance.

The Constant Lovebirds: Love is a many splendored thing, but if all you do is post love notes to your other half using cutesy language, you must be publicly flogged until you can't remember their name much less the pet name. If you feel the need to constantly affirm your love in a public forum maybe you need a little too much affirmation in your life.

I'm Reposting Cuz It's True: I'm glad to finally be getting less chain/junk emails, until I realized it's only because they've taken on another form in the "Please Post This If You...." I support various charities, causes and actions. Unfortunately most of the re-post status requests are so full of false and fictional claims that it'd be like re-posting headlines about Batboy.

There you have it, my list of people who annoy me on Facebook. I'm sure there are more of them out there and please do feel free to share them with me and each other. After all until we recognize the problem, we can't beat the cause into submission and eventual extinction.

ISH...NOW ON TOUR!

Ok so it's been a reallllly long time since I've blogged and I can't say that I have much to share, although I'm sure I do and I just don't recall it right now. However, the other day I started to think to myself "what if I was a singer who was about to go on tour?"

Now true, it's not like I have musical talent or am a songwriter, but what if I was to tour based solely on covers? I like to think it would be a fun tour, possibly taking me around the world. So without further adieu I present to you the set list for Ish's 2011 "Cover Me" world tour.

Know Me, Know You

"Let Me Entertain You" (mash-up between Gypsy's version & that of Robbie Williams)

"You Know My Name" (Chris Cornell)

"Geek In The Pink" (Jason Mraz)

"Into The Nightlife" (Cyndi Lauper)

"Heavy Rotation" (Anastasia)

"Don't Tell Me You're Sorry" (S Club 8)

Glove The Love

"Naturally/Who Owns My Heart" mash-up (Selena Gomez/Miley Cyrus)

"Don't Talk Just Kiss" (Right Said Fred)

"Understand" (Melanie C)

"Hello" (Lionel Richie)

"One Less Bell/House Is Not a Home" (Kristin Chenoweth)

"Tonight (I'm ***** You)" (Enrique Iglesias)

Translation Rotation

"You Spin Me Round" (Thalia)

"Private Emotion" (Ricky Martin)

"Better Man" (Robbie Williams)

"Fuego de Noche, Nieve de Dia" (Ricky Martin)

"Y Hubo Alguien" (Marc Anthony)

"Tranquila" (Xavier Garcia)

Revelation Celebration

"Main Event/Spinning Around" mash-up (RuPaul/Kylie Minogue)

"Blame It On The Girls" (Mika)

"Little of Your Time (Bloodshy & Avant remix)" (Maroon 5)

"Any Which Way" (Scissor Sisters)

"Outside" (George Michael)

"Let's Get Loud" (Jennifer Lopez)

There you have it, my set list. Now of course it goes without saying that between each set I'd have a wardrobe change courtesy of D&G. And to say there would be massive dance numbers is without saying given how much I love to dance. Now go on and check out all these songs and tell me they wouldn't make a great 2 & half hour show!