Monday, September 7, 2009

Playing Through the Labor

Labor Day is upon us once again. That day where we as a country collectively say "do it your damn self" and proceed to either BBQ or veg out in front of all day TV marathons. It's also the weekend where many such as myself decide to go out and have some fun since we don't have to be at work until Tuesday and by then, well, who cares since it's a 4 day week.

Now usually my tales of bloggy goodness consist of me weaving a tale of the events in a way that would make Aesop stand up and say "dude, seriously are you even trying for a moral with this?" This time, due to a combination of lacking desire to think and being tired of following up my activities with a leisurley jaunt to the gym, I've decided to just bullet-point things. Don't worry, the wit is still there...can't change the formula too much now can I?

- Bartenders: Everyone knows that bartender make their money on tips and that's usually why they're so pleasant and flirtatious and look like they never leave the gym. Why then was I met with such horrendous service at Buck 15 regarding my tab and then desire to close it? What pains me is that I really do love this place but the 5 year old who couldn't find my card and then proceeded to tell me I must have set up my tab with the other guy who looked nothing like him, yeah he either needs to go or needs to be taught a lesson in how to treat people if he wants to make money. On the polar opposite of this was the bartender at VooDoo Lounge last night who now only offered me a sympathetic look upon advising me that water was $7, but did so with a smile on his face that said "sorry about that, but I'm still cute, right?" He was the eptiome of what a bartender should be, someone ready to take your money but in a way that makes you feel ok with doing so. Hooker would probably have less stigma if they followed this buisness plan...and if they started accepting tabs I guess.

- Daisy Deadpetals: If you haven't had the opportunity to see this performer do her/his thing you should check out youtube, go on I'll, they're taking forever, must be watching the Whitney one, that one's funny....back? Great, so as I was saying, not only hilarious but able to spin some great music too. The more I listen to what she/he says the more I realize there's a brain under all that synthetic hair. It's been said that comedy isn't easy and that to do it well you have to be smart. I agree, plus how much harder is it when you have to do all that and tuck?

- Drag Look Alike: On the subject of drag queens I HAVE to mention this one I saw not only on Thursday but Sunday night. Ok, could one of you who follows me here that knows Veronica Ortega please tell her there's a man out there running around looking EXACTLY like her. The lips, the nose, the eyes, the hair, everything. And for the record, this Vero look-alike smacked me across the face not once but twice with her weave. Having never been hit with fake hair before I have to say it hurt. I dunno, maybe the real Vero can lend the drag Vero some of her hair to make a wig? Future victims of hair whippings will be grateful.

- Celebrity Sightings: Thursday night saw me peeking at an actual NKOTB member as Jonathan Knight hung out in the corner of the club, apparently with one of Britney's tour dancers. Then Sunday gave me a double whammy of a celebrity sighting, first of local news reader Craig Stevens and then Grammy winner Deborah Cox. At the risk of sounding catty or trite, can I just say that in the future when introducing a singer perhaps Mr. Stevens should stay away from saying how "it always seems like her lyrics are written about my latest break-up with a boyfriend?" Gosh Craig and then did you write about it in your journal before heading down to the mall and hanging with your BFFs? As for Ms. Cox she was in fine form, belting out all her hits, extending notes, pretty much working the stage for all it's worth. But I will say this, her performance last night kind of proved to me that Whitney Houston isn't the only black diva to sweat a small puddle under her when performing. Same script, different cast indeed.

So there you have it, the highlights of my weekend. Sure there were plenty of other odd little characters bouncing about (I'm talking about you adrogyny crew at Buck, as well as you old man with no shirt whose nipples looked more like knee guards they were so low), but why focus on them? After all, this is supposed to be my day off.

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