Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Novela Lessons For Real Life Application

So I'm watching the umpteen rerun of the classic novela, Maria la del Barrio and it occurred how different things would be in real life if we all just learned to be more like the characters in this awesome character pieces. A few observations:

1) Rich people really do want to help the poor succeed, as long as the poor are attractive and don't mind that one of the rich people will do everything in their power to ensure their misery simply because they're poor.

2) After said poor person becomes refined they will adopt a new look that they will not change for absolutely any reason essentially becoming a live action version of a cartoon character with only one outfit.

3) If you walk into a room and your other half is hugging someone you know, it automatically means they are having an affair and you should fly off the handle immediately.

4) All maids, butlers and servants in general will be all up in your business and instead of sending them to hell or firing them, you just roll your eyes as if to say "oh that wacky maid!" and let them continue to be underfoot.

5) Eventually somebody will go insane and either give up their baby or hurt half the cast, the latter will happen with everyone either ignoring the blatant clues or simply not really paying attention.

6) When handed said baby by the crazy person, don't the child over to protective services when you've clearly longed for your own child and could probably just raise it without anyone asking any questions about where it came from.

7) Being evil doesn't mean you'll automatically get what you deserve. Even if you die, you'll be brought back from the dead to continue to wreck havoc on your once closest friends who presumably buried you in the first place yet didn't notice you weren't in the casket.

8) Expressing your thoughts out loud while looking away wistfully is perfectly acceptable, but beware as there WILL inevitably be someone lurking behind a corner who's going to blackmail you with this information later.

9) Pregnancies are ridiculously easy to fake as nobody bothers with silly things like gynocologists or paternity tests.

10) At some point, if you're the villain you're going to get bitch slapped by the protagonist but won't fight back because all you do is plot & eventually kill a secondary or tertiary character that most people didn't really care about while they were alive.

Now, I'm sure there are other life lessons I've missed but I think those are the most relevant. However, please do feel free to add any I may have forgotten. After all, these are the lessons that can only help us grow as people.

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